About Something

About Something
Snorting Politics

by Joan Reid

Repeat after me, I am not a political junkie. I am NOT a political junkie. Am not. Who cares about Hillary doing a Tanya Harding on Obama?
I don't, because I am not a political junkie. Or if McCain mentioned the prospect of a 100 years war in Iraq. A hundred years from now, I most will certainly not be a political junkie. We know Obama is our man, have you listened to his famous speech? Well, I caught just a sound byte, because as you know, I am not a political junkie.

My friends and family think I am a politcal junkie, and worse, they enable me. They constantly send me e-mails with links to politcal editorials and articles that sing the praises of Hillary and Obama, or pieces on the latest mudslinging fest among the Dems. I read every word and respond in kind. I go to other sites, sign petitions, voice my concerns, I even joined the "Hillary Team" and now I receive emails from Bill, Chelsea and Hillary. My inbox is filled with enticing subject titles like: Joan, Bill Needs You. How can I tell my former president that I'm really not a junkie?
I tried going cold turkey and stop main-lining CNN and MSNBC, but this strategy hasn't worked. There is only one thing left to do, and that is to go in the closet.

I've been in the closet for the past 48 hours-wait, isn't there a news program called 48 hours? And every hour has 60 minutes-uh-oh, I think I see Mike Wallace, who is about to broadcast an interview with Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright Jr. Plus, there are more primaries ahead, more hand-clapping rodeos, more grandstanding, more e-mails, more politics-okay, I'll admit it. My name is Joan and I am a political junkie. Welcome, Joan, you have taken your first step. Unfortunately, there is little we can do to help you.

Billboards, radio, TV, newspapers and magazines, ALL media are conspiring against your recovery. There is no ban on politics, no amendment that will prohibit the manufacturing and sale of politics to junkies. The FDA won't protect you. In fact, Big Pharma supplies these politicians. It doesn't matter your age, race, ethnicity or gender, everyone is fair game. There's only one last-ditch thing to do. It works for politicians, why not try it: denial. Repeat after me, I am not a political junkie. I am NOT a political junkie. Am not.

Joan Reid, playwright and author is Features Editor of The Nyack Villager. Send comments to
villager@bestweb.net or www.lifeisabike.com