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by Shel Haber
Largely unreported in the press is the recent reappearance of the Zeester in the Tappan Zee section of the Hudson river. It is believed to be a close relative of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster.

Seen in the Hudson River many times in the last 250 years, the sightings have been suppressed by those who fear it might depress the sale of riverfront real estate. In years past, it was known to a very few as the Hudson River’s Dragon Monster.

It is now speculated that exploratory digging for the new Tappan Zee Bridge disturbed its ancient hiding place and this creature is now wandering the Hudson from Upper Nyack to Palisades, looking for a new home.

Spotted several times in the past few weeks, eyewitnesses described a creature with a bulky body about 25 feet long and a narrow 10-foot neck. Several humps are sometimes seen along its body. The sightings usually occur on Thursday and Sunday mornings when farmers’ markets are in full swing in the river villages. International investigators offer no explanation for this odd coincidence.

A Britain, a public relations expert pointed out to The Nyack Villager that in Scotland, the Loch Ness Monster is worth millions of dollars as a premier tourist attraction and that we folks in the Hudson Valley might do well promote to the Zeester so it could help us attract visitors to our villages.

For more information call 555-April Fool.